This article will contain a very liberal subject. If you’re under the age of 18, I do not advise you to read it. I will be talking about a topic that could be sensitive and against some moral standards.
I lost my virginity when I about 17, like 23 days away, to my ex-boyfriend. I definitely have one exceptional experience where I am grateful to lose my virginity to “the one”. Here is why.
1. Sex is important to me, but me giving my love is much more important.
Now, I think sex is really important, and I did it with someone who I deeply loved. I sort of will always love him. I still think if I want to have sex with that person that it is still just as important as losing my virginity to them. Back when I lost my virginity, I thought that my boyfriend at the time would view sex just as important as I did. The sad thing was as soon as I gave him that, and the fact I knew him so much, things in our relationship changed a lot. Things became more than just I love you. We talked constantly about the future in actual context to each other. Nothing was romantic anymore. He was one of the most important people in my life at that time, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. There wasn’t any affection anymore. Things became so caught up in the attraction for each other that sex and sexual acts became something so important. It made me realize the reason why I wanted to have sex was because at that time he was giving me so much love without me giving any part of myself. Then, when I gave that part of myself, things changed.
2. The sex I have now is amazing.
After losing my virginity, I realized how much having sex meant to me. I realized the difference between attraction and lust. With my first love, I felt lust. I was so carried away with him giving so much attention, time, affection to me. Now that I have that with my current boyfriend, anything with love feels so much more. Everything is intense and just worth my time. With my ex, I thought at the time that it would be the strongest feelings I would ever have, but I was so wrong. I definitely feel so much more in this relationship as oppose to the other one. When my current boyfriend touches me, kisses me, and just is near me, I feel such a desire to have him around for as long as I can. There is definitely nothing else I want more than him, and I did feel that with my ex too. Yet, this time my heart was in it as much as my body. I think that’s why the sex is so much better. There is so much invested.
3. Show me what I liked and didn’t like
Other than the two things I talked about, I think one of the biggest thing I learned was about myself. I think when someone is losing their virginity it’s more about experiencing. Losing your virginity is an experience, and it’s something that you have to go through in order to get to the fun part. Yes, I have heard so many stories where losing their virginity was great, and good for them. I also have to say there are a lot people who didn’t have a great time. To clarify, I had a great time, but was the sex GOOD? I don’t think so. I didn’t finish. I did enjoy the time I spent with him. Yet, when I started to have sex with my current boyfriend, I learned so much about my body, mind, and heart that I realize what happened then was great but not the best. It’s something nice to look back and say Hey this is where I started. Now I think This sex is alright but I want this more and I would like for you to do this more. In a way, losing my virginity to someone different than my current sex partner gave me courage to voice the things I know I like, figure out what things I want to try and see if I like, and the things I dislike.
Don’t get me wrong. Losing my virginity was something HUGE in my life. It definitely made me the person I am today. The best thing I have to say about losing my virginity is I am so self-aware now. Being vocal about not just sex has came from losing my virginity. It has created the basic foundation for me to have better sex but more important better communication and interactions with the person I am engaging these intimate conversations. That is why I am so grateful I lost my virginity way before I got married. I know that now I won’t be a future wife miserable in a sexless life because I wasn’t vocal to my partner.
Thanks to losing my virginity. I have healthy sex life.