Long Distant Relationships: The Goods and Bads

“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”

Hey, I just wanted to start out with my personal opinions about long distant relationships. Whether you are in one or have been in one, I just wanted to put it out there, when it comes to my relationship, these are things I experienced. I am currently in a relationship with a navy guy, and we have been apart 95% of our relationship. We had about 60 days in the last two years where we have spent actually time with each other, meaning we were next to each other. 

The Goods:

1. Every day is reminder about my love for him. 

My days apart from him is a constant alert to my head that he is the one for me. There is definitely days where I would rather not be with him, but my days and nights are so much better with him annoying me. 

2. You can focus on yourself. 

I am definitely focused on myself in this relationship. Because of the distant, everyone involve can achieve their own goals and do things for themselves. Me and my boyfriend really have two separate lives. I am in college, and he is in the navy. I just take my classes and focus on that. He works, and it’s like I got front row tickets to seeing him improve himself. 

3. It really tests your support and dedication to each other. 

Although in the moments, you have no exact clue whether your partner is cheating or lying to you. You really have to give the other person ALL the trust and honesty that you have. I don’t know about anyone else, but when you have fights and arguments of all types, thoughts can come into mind about your partner. Yet, with long distant relationships, you really have to be strong enough to ignore those doubts. I am not saying to ignore them entirely, but sometimes, you’re the one who’s making the problems. Instead, you should know there isn’t much too worry about. 

4. It makes everything else so much easier. 

If you can get through this, you can pretty much find ways to make anything work. The hardest part is leaving and not knowing when the person is going to come back to you. So, if you can get yourself to love and stick around for someone during the hard parts, the easy parts, like waking up in the morning next to each other and discussing about chores, you will be able to do in your sleep. 

5. Mornings and nights are so much better with someone as oppose to not having someone. 

Relationships are seriously stressful, and sometimes, it is more than what we need in life. Yet, we all want relationships. I know we will in this time where YOLO is everything, but seriously, it doesn’t have to define your life. For me, I know I wake up every single day cherish the moment now because I have a partner. Having a partner is so much better in my opinion. This person is working toward a future with me, and that’s such a nice gift to wake up to and go to bed with. It’s such a blessing, and to think this person will give you everything that can build up your happiness, it’s something that can’t be replace. Like serious, I would always pick my partner over night stands and nights where I drink myself sick. 

6. When you’re together, nothing feels better than that. 

I know everyone talks about this, but the moment your partner is back next to you, it’s the best feeling. The smell. The warmth from their body. The smile. The hair. Everything. Literally. It’s really unbelievable how nice the hug when you first see them feels. and then the kiss. Ah I am so excited to see my partner again. 

The Bads:

1. The Distance

The worst thing overall is just knowing you can’t have the person with you at any time. This person isn’t there for any of the important times. You’re equally not there for them. The planning and scheduling for times to see each other is also a hard a** task. 

2. The Fights

When it comes to fighting, it’s the worst. You don’t at all feel for the other person, and it just doesn’t feel like fighting. It’s always that one person feels a certain way, and the other is just grasping and trying to understand what could possible make the other feel that way. It’s just a hard discussion because you really have no idea if the person understands the problem. A lot of the time it is harder to communicate with the other person in this scenario. It’s harder to deal with this than probably the pain of distant. This makes the pain worst because you know it would go so much better if the person was there. 

3. How often you will talk

My boyfriend is pretty amazing about this. He always try to talk to me, well if video games aren’t in his life. Most of the time of our relationship, he has always made a crazy amount of time to talk to me. He has constantly tried to reassure me that he isn’t going anywhere. I do know that most long distant relationships struggle with how often they talk especially if it’s countries apart like me and my boyfriend. 

4. The Loneliness

It’s really the struggle. It’s worst than being single because you have someone, but you always think about how they just can’t be there even when they would want to be. It’s just impossible. 

5. Horniness 

Now, I know I am sexual being, and I know he is too. It really does suck because we both know there is no way to please each other. I mean there is phone sex or sexting, but it’s nothing like the real thing. 

That’s pretty much all I can think of. I can write more, but most of those are subdivisions of what I said above. Here is what I think about being in a long-distant relationship.

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Clothes. Makeup. Boys. Family. Life. School. My life in a few words.

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