Sex: Sexting

Gosh, I could go on and on about the double standards of today’s hookup culture. Today, I think that’s something that everyone knows about. I would like to talk about my personal experience with sexting.

I like sexting, and I think it something great that people who are attracted to each other do. I also think its great for people to get to know about the other person’s sexual fantasies, interests, and desires. Currently, in my life’s situation, I involve myself in sexting with someone I am not sure I have feelings for or if there is anything serious down the road. Before you start judging me, here are the reasons why I began to sext him.

  • I’m young, and it’s better for me to experience this now instead of doing this when I’m married and curious.
    • Part of me knows that eventually if I don’t take an adventure or explore something that isn’t responsible, one day in my life, I will venture out in a toxic way. Since being in a complicated relationship with my ex-boyfriend, this sexting relationship with a friend is the perfect thing for my heart right now. I need something to extinguish my curiosity. I have always been a relationship girl. As my sister says, I have a non-stop ticket for the relationship train. I think it’s perfect for me to explore other things than a relationship. Relationships are great for me, but I need to see if right now a relationship is what I need. I think sexting a good friend and keep it simple is a way to test for what I need. 
  • He is a good friend first, and because of his personality, sexting is just part of our friendship, and not all our friendship is.
    • For a time in deciding whether I can just use a “friend” for sexual needs, I thought about how our friendship would be defined as being sexting partners. I wasn’t okay with that because I like to think that I have a connection with everyone I engage in sexually. He is a good friend. He has even heard me cry and seen the ugliness that comes with my tears. I respect dearly, and we laugh about most things. We keep light between us, and that’s because he is a simple guy. He has no time for drama, and I think I find that attractive right now. He also smiles a lot, and I like that. He prefers simple, and to be honest; that is entirely different than anything I have experience with any guy. I like that for him and me sexting part is just a bonus. We don’t talk until I text him, which he assumed for sexual reasons. That might seem wrong, but before this became a regular thing, he and I talked things out. We put everything on the table, and it made it so possible to do this, even for a relationship girl to be comfortable with it. 
    • My hint to everyone who is reading this and thinking about sexting someone
      • You should do this with someone you deeply respect, and not for romantic reasons, but as a person, you should do it with someone who you don’t want to hurt.
        • Doing it with a dear friend is so much better than finding a stranger that could hurt you. With a friend, you feel more comfortable talking about all the details and making sure that what is happening is comfortable for the both of you.
      • Seriously, you should only do this if you want nothing romantic. It’s hard to imagine myself without a romantic partner and having sexual relationships with that person. It is also though something I need right now. If you do this with anyone, you have to be okay with realizing that it’s merely sexual and not romantic. Yes, like the movies, romantic feelings happen, but if it does, break it off early on when you can tell you like the person. It only gets harder when you start to depend on the person sexually. It’s getting way harder when you can’t imagine life without them. Just do it with someone who keeps simple and friendly. Have fun, and don’t think too much about it.
      • Take care of yourself and not the dynamic between you and your friend.
        • Only do this if you feel okay.
  • He is a simple person, and so, we keep it simple.
    • The best thing about this sexting is that I am doing it with someone who keeps it simple. We do have a simple dynamic, and it is refreshing for me to have that in my life right now.
  • We both have ambitions, and we try not to bother each other.
    • We both have things going on in our lives that for the most part we do our own things. We just help each other out whenever we need to relief sexual tensions or just need company. 
  • We keep an open mind.
  • We laugh a lot together when we are doing these things.
  • We are attracted to each other.
    • I am crazy attracted to him, and I have no idea why. I think its great that I can explore that without having to commit or make it serious. 
  • Nothing about my life depends on his existence in it.
    • I really could go without knowing how he is every day. I like talking to him, but I don’t rely on talking to him to be happy.
  • We are comfortable with each other.
    • If you aren’t comfortable with the guy or girl you’re sexting, then just don’t do it. 
  • We listen to each other.
    • With anything sexual, listening is just important. 
  • To be honest, he may not have feelings for me and that he only sees sex with me, but I like his company for the time being.
    • I like how there isn’t anything hidden so far, and that right now, it is just about how I like to talk to him and fulfilling the company I desire.
  • He extinguishes all my complexities regarding sex and makes it simple as can be.
    • He is just simple, and that balances out all my complex overthinking behaviors.
  • I think I can learn not to like or love him.

Overall, I think that for me right now not being in a relationship and wanting to have fun that sexting is a great thing for me especially with the person I am doing it with. I don’t know if the sexting will carry on to actual sex, but right now, I am just having fun doing this with him. Because I trust him and respect him, it is just healthier than meeting a stranger on Tinder or Match.com to get the something I have with him.

 

Image From: http://www.lessonsofadad.com/2011/02/teens-who-waitand-how-yours-could-be.html

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Clothes. Makeup. Boys. Family. Life. School. My life in a few words.

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