Have you ever just put yourself in a situation where you just got intimate with someone you aren’t really sure about? Now, I don’t mean about directly sex and all things sexual. I think one of the best things I ever done for myself to get over my ex was to get emotional (in a physical way) intimate with someone else. Now, this might not be the most productive and best way to approach a break up, but it is what I did. I might honestly not be with the person I did this with, but it was really nice to wake up to someone.
I think one of the worst things about being lonely is the fact cuddling doesn’t happen as often. Cuddle is honestly one of god’s gift. I swear it is one of the best feelings. I honestly could careless about any other aspects of the relationship, but waking up to someone’s warm body next to you holding you is the best.
With my ex, I didn’t really get someone who would want to hold me or cuddle at night. I would hold him and lay on him whenever we were in bed together, but as soon as the lights were out, he would want to just lay next to each other. It honestly sucked. It really did. I think that’s the most intimate thing a couple could do.
When you cuddle, you don’t usually have the intent to get it on. Most of the time, at least for myself, you just want to be in the company of another person. Now, things can happen because of cuddling. I do understand that. I honestly get really turned on while cuddling, and who wouldn’t? You’re having someone spoon you or you’re the big spoon. Either way. One person is spooning the other. It’s hard to not have a physiological response to that.
Here are the few reasonings why my experience of cuddling helped me get over my ex.
When your ex is fucking someone else, it is hard not want to put yourself out there.
Honestly, don’t just roll your eyes at me for competing with my ex. It’s not like my full purpose of online dating or just dating is to beat my ex at finding someone or love. It honestly is just a plus. Seeing my ex with a girl is just upsetting in general because he dumped me for flings. When I did lay in bed with this stranger for the few nights he came over, it didn’t occur to me at all that I am more motivate to go date because my ex wakes up everyday to that bitch (sorry I hate her). My ex is a great motivator for my dating right now. I won’t ever deny that. I honestly gave more than him emotional to everything, and it is really hard for me to not look for someone to do the same again. It’s something I just do. It was nice to show him that I moved on and was okay waking up not next to him.
It was nice to cuddle with someone who you had no drama or developed feelings for.
The first night I cuddle and slept next to this guy was probably the most soothing thing to my heart. I didn’t have any expectations for the next day. I didn’t need to please anyone but myself. I woke up to him going to work, and I just went back to sleep. It was nice. I didn’t need to wake up to say goodbye (I did but it wasn’t like my time with him would deteriorate because I didn’t express how great the time was). I didn’t need to do anything but really sleep. It was really nice to not have expectations or general responsibilities. I just woke up. He was there. We weren’t together. He hugged me before leaving. I went bac to bed. How simple…. I fucking loved that.
The guy I ended up cuddling with is a nice guy, and it was nice to just be held by that.
Whenever you’re with a piece of shit like I was, it is easy to meet a better guy. I was lucky enough to do that with someone who was too nice and too much of a gentleman to try for more. Honestly, I am pretty sure that night he was too nervous to do anything without me saying something. That was too cute, and it really did make me feel more comfortable with him. He never did anything unless I agreed. That’s probably one of the most refreshing things about this person and made the cuddling so much better. It was just cuddling. I didn’t feel like we had to kiss (we did). I didn’t feel like it was awkward that we were just cuddling. When I woke up, I didn’t feel like it was strange that he was there. He was just there, and it was just nice. I think a big part of it was the fact we didn’t anything besides cuddle and kiss.
Waking up to someone without expectations of a relationship was pretty fucking great.
At least for the first night, it was nice to just cuddle with someone without expecting or wanting more. Honestly, I wanted to just use him for that night. I didn’t think I would like him or enjoy his company. I even told him from the beginning that I really just wanted someone to cuddle with. I even told him I am just looking for something causal that could possible grow into something more. Luckily, that is something he was looking for too. It was probably the first time I ever messaged someone and say, “hey I am just looking for someone to cuddle with, and nothing more” He was on board for some reason. Like, if you were watching this hangout, you could tell that he wasn’t the guy to do much anything. I swear 99% I was the person to bring it up or talk about things first. It was hilarious for most of the occasions.
It’s hard to get hurt with just cuddling.
Yes, it is a very intimate thing, but there is no doubt that emotional or physical link isn’t present until something more happens. Honestly, after the first night, if he and I never texted or talk again, I would have been fine. I would have been cool about it by checking up on him every now and then, but I definitely wouldn’t have hard feelings that we did see each other again. I would want to see him again because I enjoyed his company, but regardless of the time, I ended up getting what I wanted. I couldn’t have gotten hurt by the cuddling. Granted more happened because we spent more time with each other after that one day, but cuddling itself was never the factor of the dynamic that got me hurt or could get me hurt.
It opened me up again, emotionally and physically.
After being horribly dumped by a guy I gave more than I could give, I really wasn’t sure if I was ready to put myself out there. I was really unsure about dating. I could have given up as a whole, and I would have been fine. For some reason at this time, I thought it was okay to cuddle with someone without wanting more. It can happen, but maybe not with this person. It was definitely a possibility before I knew the person. The one thing I did get out of this was the willingness to let my heart get hurt. I realized the only way to be loved or find it is having yourself open to the idea of pain. No one likes to admit it, but pain comes with the package. I think the cuddling helped me see that I am willing to have pain to be comforted by someone. It didn’t really occur to me that what I wanted more than waking up next to someone was to be able to love. It was really awesome to see that, even when I can see me and him not working out, I am okay with that since he was a great experience. Not every time you give yourself up, you will get hurt. This was probably the first time I just had a great time and nothing terribly happened. He didn’t cheat on me. He didn’t ignore me. He didn’t do anything. Whether I work out with him, I can see that pain is only one of the components to having one of the greatest things.
Now, I’ve been saying cuddling is one of the most amazing things but that’s only because you can hold someone. Someone is taking care of you and giving you a sense of security. That itself is rewarding. Whether I continue to see him or not, I got something amazing out of it. I woke up a few nights to someone who made me feel soft. Now, what else is better than that? That secure feeling is one of the hottest and sexiest things I ever felt and that’s why I felt like the cuddling got me out of the broken spell from a break up.