Tinder Date: Casual Sex and Our Generation

“For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.”
― Isabel Allende, Of Love and Shadows

“I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed. Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.”
― Groucho Marx

From Thought Catalog,  I found this article that made me question the relationship between casual sex and our generation. The rise of online dating apps like Tinder and Bumble has created an easy way to meet new people. This would be a great thing, but for some reason, there is a stigma that the purpose of these apps is for hookups, sex, and everything around that. When in fact, these are things that were created for building relationships (that doesn’t mean you can’t use it for sexual reasons). In this current generation, there has been a significant increase in the acceptance of sex, but with those acceptances, more stigmas have been created. This generation has allowed casual sex to become a norm through the apps, but without thought, it has allowed the public to make determinations of what is a slut (boy or girl).

Suppression of sex is a horrible thing that even today’s generation has increased. In studies done by people like James W. Prescott, there has been a tremendous amount of research on love and hate. The most fascinating things from these scientific articles are the predictions of violent cultures to intimacy (especially how maternal love affects). Intimacy on any level should be welcomed. We all want to be loved and welcomed, but currently, we are built more standards of what is sexually promiscuous. That’s horrible.

Intimacy on any level should be welcomed. We all want to be loved and welcomed, but currently, we don’t. You might think we do but think about this situation.

A teenage girl never had a kiss before, and she went to college with no experience. She met this guy at a college party, and she had a few drinks. She woke up the next day next to a guy she barely knew with little clothes. She knew that consented to sex, but she is feared by the possible stigma that she is “easy”.

How is that any different from the next situation?

A teenage girl fell in love with her best friend, and they dated openly for 6 months. She had sex with him on a rainy night during her junior year of high school. After that relationship failed, she ended up exploring what other guys that could gain her interest. She ended up being with 5 guys by the end of sophomore year of college. Does that make her any more “easy”? How about if I tell you that 2 of those guys came from an online dating app? What do you think now?

Does that make her any more “easy”? How about if I tell you that 2 of those guys came from an online dating app? What do you think now? But, how would that be any different from the next situation?

A teenage girl fell in love with her secret boyfriend and had sex with him during their 9 months relationship. She ended up going to college while her secret boyfriend got married. She actually loved college, and she gained so many positive experiences. She partied and met lots of people. Along the way, she ended up sleeping with 7 or 8 guys. She isn’t sure.

Does that make her any more “easy”?  But, how would that be any different from the next situation?

A teenage girl has a lot of commitment issues, but she fell madly in love with her best friend. She didn’t want a relationship, but she wanted him. A lot. So, she became friends with benefits with her best friend. They agreed to be sexually monogamous without any relationship commitments. Perfect for her. She was able to maintain this relationship for 4 years. She isn’t planning to be solely his for awhile as long as she is in school. She is happy, and she has a great sex life.

Does that make her any more “easy” because she chose to just have sex with a guy without a relationshp? But, how would that be any different from the situations before?

Throughout my life, I have heard stories that these girls had. I have also heard people responded that these girls were easy or just “sexually open”. Well, I don’t get how anyone could place judgment or label on someone to getting pleasures. We don’t limit people in eating pleasures, but when it comes to sex pleasures, it has a stigma. It doesn’t help there is a double standard in this dynamic. Every single one of these girls slept with a guy, and that person doesn’t get that stigma. It’s actually praised in some cases. This casual sex has made stigmas more into our generation, but our generation is making it. It’s hard to be accepting of gaining pleasures when people are scrutinized for it. Why does sex have to always have a stigma? Why can’t I get sex without being called a slut or being treated like one? Why can’t a guy easy want a relationship with me if I am willingly want sex early on as much as they do?  Why has Tinder introduced so many people to each other but made casual sex easy to get but hard to want to do?

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Clothes. Makeup. Boys. Family. Life. School. My life in a few words.

5 thoughts on “Tinder Date: Casual Sex and Our Generation

  1. I don’t think that women should worry about whether they are “easy” but to encourage them to know their values, date a lot but be very sparing in who we have sex with. It takes a huge emotional toll to have sex with a lot of people. Most women I know who claim to want to be “sexually liberated” end up feeling hurt and anxious after a few casual encounters. Your blog was very thought provoking. I’m going to write up a post on why we stimatize girls as “easy” from an economics perspective!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel the exact same. I don’t think easy should be an the vocabulary when it comes to sex. It should be a positive place where it’s accepted to want to feel desired, lusted, and loved. And thanks! I tried hard to make an attempt to open a small decision about sex and openness.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I came up with an interesting economics based hypothesis on why women are called easy, hos, or sluts in my latest post! Thank you for provoking me to think about this!

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  2. It really is unfortunate that we live in a slut shamming culture, especially when our sexual drive is largely what defines us. What I mean by ‘defines us’ is that in a very real way, we evolved for, and to have sex. A lot of sex.

    Because of how media, church, and even traditional beliefs handed down by our parents have painted sexuality, it’s often viewed negatively and as something not proper for conversation.

    I think it’s important to recognize our inner sexual being. There is nothing wrong with loving sex, in fact you should. And it is completely normal to try multiple partners and sexual experiences to see exactly what you like.

    Owning our sexuality is going to be the only thing that lets this topic get the attention that it deserves.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is a tragic thing that sex is viewed negatively. We should be able to love and enjoy sex as please because the whole purpose of life is to continue on the life with offsprings or with significant other. Also on the note of sexuality, I think owning it is also really important. There shouldn’t be something like the walk-of-shame because someone wanted to go out and get pleasure. Much like in any psychodynamic therapy, plenty of our aggression and thought process stems from pleasure, which sexual pleasures is one of the highest pleasures out there.

    Like

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