“For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.”
― Isabel Allende, Of Love and Shadows
“I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed. Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.”
― Groucho Marx
From Thought Catalog, I found this article that made me question the relationship between casual sex and our generation. The rise of online dating apps like Tinder and Bumble has created an easy way to meet new people. This would be a great thing, but for some reason, there is a stigma that the purpose of these apps is for hookups, sex, and everything around that. When in fact, these are things that were created for building relationships (that doesn’t mean you can’t use it for sexual reasons). In this current generation, there has been a significant increase in the acceptance of sex, but with those acceptances, more stigmas have been created. This generation has allowed casual sex to become a norm through the apps, but without thought, it has allowed the public to make determinations of what is a slut (boy or girl).
Suppression of sex is a horrible thing that even today’s generation has increased. In studies done by people like James W. Prescott, there has been a tremendous amount of research on love and hate. The most fascinating things from these scientific articles are the predictions of violent cultures to intimacy (especially how maternal love affects). Intimacy on any level should be welcomed. We all want to be loved and welcomed, but currently, we are built more standards of what is sexually promiscuous. That’s horrible.
Intimacy on any level should be welcomed. We all want to be loved and welcomed, but currently, we don’t. You might think we do but think about this situation.
A teenage girl never had a kiss before, and she went to college with no experience. She met this guy at a college party, and she had a few drinks. She woke up the next day next to a guy she barely knew with little clothes. She knew that consented to sex, but she is feared by the possible stigma that she is “easy”.
How is that any different from the next situation?
A teenage girl fell in love with her best friend, and they dated openly for 6 months. She had sex with him on a rainy night during her junior year of high school. After that relationship failed, she ended up exploring what other guys that could gain her interest. She ended up being with 5 guys by the end of sophomore year of college. Does that make her any more “easy”? How about if I tell you that 2 of those guys came from an online dating app? What do you think now?
Does that make her any more “easy”? How about if I tell you that 2 of those guys came from an online dating app? What do you think now? But, how would that be any different from the next situation?
A teenage girl fell in love with her secret boyfriend and had sex with him during their 9 months relationship. She ended up going to college while her secret boyfriend got married. She actually loved college, and she gained so many positive experiences. She partied and met lots of people. Along the way, she ended up sleeping with 7 or 8 guys. She isn’t sure.
Does that make her any more “easy”? But, how would that be any different from the next situation?
A teenage girl has a lot of commitment issues, but she fell madly in love with her best friend. She didn’t want a relationship, but she wanted him. A lot. So, she became friends with benefits with her best friend. They agreed to be sexually monogamous without any relationship commitments. Perfect for her. She was able to maintain this relationship for 4 years. She isn’t planning to be solely his for awhile as long as she is in school. She is happy, and she has a great sex life.
Does that make her any more “easy” because she chose to just have sex with a guy without a relationshp? But, how would that be any different from the situations before?
Throughout my life, I have heard stories that these girls had. I have also heard people responded that these girls were easy or just “sexually open”. Well, I don’t get how anyone could place judgment or label on someone to getting pleasures. We don’t limit people in eating pleasures, but when it comes to sex pleasures, it has a stigma. It doesn’t help there is a double standard in this dynamic. Every single one of these girls slept with a guy, and that person doesn’t get that stigma. It’s actually praised in some cases. This casual sex has made stigmas more into our generation, but our generation is making it. It’s hard to be accepting of gaining pleasures when people are scrutinized for it. Why does sex have to always have a stigma? Why can’t I get sex without being called a slut or being treated like one? Why can’t a guy easy want a relationship with me if I am willingly want sex early on as much as they do? Why has Tinder introduced so many people to each other but made casual sex easy to get but hard to want to do?