Open Letter: Thank you

To you,…

Right now, I know you’re going on quite a drive right now. I hope to god you get there safely, but you make this trip enough for me to feel like I don’t have blow up your phone.  I am really happy that this weekend you are doing this for yourself. Last night was our third date. Yes, I think it’s pretty important, and I know I am not saying this to you. Here is my thoughts tonight while you’re taking this weekend for yourself.

We talk about this jokely on our dates all the time. What is it on the first time I matched with you on Tinder that didn’t work? What about now that seems work? Quite frankly, I have no clue why I didn’t like you before this. I would’ve save so much of my time if I gave you that chance when we first matched. I’ve had enough dates to know that you’re quite something. You changed what I thought online dating would be like, and I honestly can never thank you enough for that.

On our first date, I didn’t know what to expect of you or what this would be come. From my past experience, all I did know is what I wanted, and surprisingly, you have gave more than I asked for. But lets go back a little bit to the day it started this all.

We had an extremely short conversation on Tinder before I just randomly gave you my number. Now that I’m thinking about it, I am bit crazy to just give to you that soon. I thought at this point I was more than tired of dating. I was settling for whatever was coming and even more I was giving up. I was okay with flings and “college” relationships. Even before I was seeing you, I went on multiple dates with someone at your college. Grantly, you go to a state school thus large population. I didn’t think that night when I gave you my number that I will be seeing you… let alone texting you every day.

Our conversation started out with us being very honest, or at least I was. I told you I was looking for a “causal” relationship that was monogamous sexually but free from relationship responsibilities for senior year. You said “#college life”. I still have this paint vividly in my mind, and I am currently laughing out loud to this. You even brought up that I was too far away, which I think it’s hilarious. It doesn’t seem to discourage you anymore. Then, after only a few days of texting, you just thought randomly to call me, well at least you asked first. That’s how it started…

Somehow, I still run through everything in my mind on why we clicked after that phone call. I was talking too much and you just listen to everything I said. We talked about a lot of things, and what I picked up was that you sincerely trying to get to know about me. Not only did we just have 20 minute phone call, you even insisted to call me back when you were laying in bed. It wasn’t just a regular phone call. You wanted to video call me. That was more surprising that night than anything else. Now that we are on date three, it’s funny that you told me that you were totally drunk the whole time. That night we ended up being on the phone together for 3 hours. I kept you way pass your time crazy old man (only because you sleep at 11 every night). Also, as a side note, it was more than cute that you said “hopefully this will make up for the fact I won’t talk to you this weekend when I am hiking”. Yeah, that definitely made up for it.

Then, I went home and you still kept talking to me. Everyone knows I am nearly impossible to get a hold off when I am with my family. You made it work. There is one night when I was home and off work that you called me again to have yet another 2 hour conversation. Well, me ranting a lot and you asking questions about my life. I have notice a lot of how much I dominant the conversation. I’m sorry about that. Somehow, I keep your interest still, and it’s like a month in.

So we kept the plan that I would see you the night I get back into town, and I honestly I didn’t think you would still want to see me then. Everytime we are planning for our date, we go through this text conversation where we ask each other “do you want to?”. We still do this now, and it makes laugh everytime. I usually ask you first, but you always ask me as well. That night was our first date. I am really glad I went on that with you.

You were very chill. You asked questions, and more importantly, you made so easy. You took me to this pizza place that is apparently where everyone ones to. It’s a classic. Then, you asked me if I was too tired and if I wanted to leave. I definitely did not want to. At this point, we still haven’t kiss, and I so wanted that. So you invited me into your place. You even showed me around which helped that no one was there. Of course we ended up in your room…. that wasn’t surprise to me. The one thing that surprised me was how much I liked kissing you, and how long it took for us to get to the kissing. You’re quite the gentlemen (for most moments). I loved that about you. I forgot that guys can be that way.

You stopped me. For sure. I was trying to seduce you, and maybe for out habit… I am glad you held back. It made you 10 times more attractive. You’re quite rare. I was without a shirt and told me this was enough for the night. We continued on with the kissing. Most of my attraction for you comes off from that night. I play it over in my head how hot it was for you to tell me this was enough. For me to be shirtless and everything that could have happened, you stopped it. Thank you.

I didn’t see you again for another 5ish days, and this time you came to me. That was very sweet of you even though I know it’s out convenience. You came to see me on a day I was stressing out, not feeling too well, and just out of energy. We could’ve gone out and done things, but you only did the things I wanted to that night. That was attractive. You went into my dorm room and talked to me for a good hour. You helped me have an hour break from studying for two exams. Then for another hour, you kissed which I told you I could be sick, and your response was great, “I got a flu shot so I should be okay”. Honestly, you’re crazy because you’re in school too so you didn’t need to get sick as well. You did risk it though. That night I learned that sex isn’t what you’re here for. We didn’t get there. Pretty close though, but it wasn’t. I even texted you what happened, and you told me you wanted to ease into it more…. I have never gotten a guy to tell me that he wants me to slow it down.

So I ended up sick for a roughly a week…

Until yesterday morning, I didn’t feel like it was a good idea tell you I was getting better until I knew that what I had wasn’t contagious. Granted, you didn’t get sick, thus it isn’t. Until that morning, I wasn’t sure what you wanted from me or if we were planning to see each other again. I should’ve figured not to worry because there were so many good signs that I was stupid…

Your drunk texts is one of them. I know I joke about this a lot when I am with you. It’s just it quite obvious when you’re drunk. You do text me quite a bit first, but if it’s spontaneous at 11 pm, you’re quite under the influence. It’s not even like you contact me for sex, even those you explicitly say hooking up sometimes. You just talk to me sometimes, and even once before, you told me to stop texting you because you didn’t want to treat me horribly. Honestly, I thought it was cute more than anything. You’re not outright verbal about being attracted to me on emotional level, but I can sense it when you’re drunk. It’s like everytime you drink now, and it never bothers me unless I am already asleep. I can tell you want my attention when you’re drunk not even on just a hook up level.

You initate conversations with me. That’s the most outright attractive thing you do. I don’t stress ever that I won’t talk to you. If I don’t hear from you, it’s because you’re busy. You text or snapchat me every day guarantee unless you’re in the middle of nowhere. That makes sense. Even then, you always try to give me a heads up by telling me your plans and talking about seeing me afterwards. You make phone calls when we haven’t seen each other for awhile. You make it easy to not stress about talking. I am always talking to you, and I love it. We have so many differences, and yet, we never fight. Surprise there!

The biggest thing that I’ve notice about you is that you don’t see other people. You really have been just seeing me. You hang out with the guys almost every night when you’re not studying or out at work. It’s scary meeting someone online because being exclusive is hard to detect. Yet, I am not sure, and I feel just as confident that you’re focusing on me as much as I am focusing on you. It helps a lot that we just got over the third that and we still haven’t had sex.

Let’s talk about the cutest thing you’ve ever done thus far…. So after changing my birth control, I have been spotting which is normal. So I told you I was having my period, and that definitely didn’t discourage you. Your response was, “gotcha, I’ll buy chocolates”. I told you it was okay, but little did I know with you asking me about what I like that you were getting me some chocolates. The fact that I was sitting in your lap, kissing you happily with your legs by my sides…. I didn’t notice that in the bag of drugstore stuff that you bought me my favorite chocolates… It was honestly one of the cutest things you could do with that information.

But the next cute thing you did was holding my hands. I am not use to a guy holding my hand in public, and that’s sad. When we walked to dinner last night, my instant response to you grabbing my hand was, “awww you want to hold my hand?” Instantly back it was, “well I don’t have to if you don’t want to”. That didn’t stop you… You let your hand out again, and walked with me to the restaurant.

I just wrote about 2000 words about you. You can’t read this… Well if you could, I wanted you know that you left an amazing impression on me. You made me happy with the dates we had, and more importantly, you reminded me that there are guys I can have faith in this generation. I like you. Maybe more than I let on. I do. I want to spend more time with you. The fact that we talked about if we had sex and how that would change us… That didn’t seem to afffect any of your thoughts. You just said casually that it would be us having a lot of sex but we would talk and hang out still. Honestly, I never felt so comfortable about sex with someone I met on Tinder before. Honestly, I am very ready to have that step with you. It’s because I want something with you. Relationship,… I don’t know, but you have gotten my attention.

Thank you. ❤

 

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Clothes. Makeup. Boys. Family. Life. School. My life in a few words.

5 thoughts on “Open Letter: Thank you

      1. It takes us several fails before success and even the ones we believe to be successful aren’t when we look back lol. I believe in finding the right person and living a REAL RELATIONSHIP outside of the created one’s we see. You’re so welcome, tons of blogger love sent your way!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I totally understand. I have been the most pessimistic person when it comes to dating. Online dating hasn’t help it at all, but luckily, I found someone who is sincere in the most college way possible.

        Like

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